


Periapsis

by Wesakechak



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Neon Genesis Evangelion: Gakuen Datenroku | Campus Apocalypse
Genre: F/F, Kisses, and fluff, hurt/comfort in second chapter, lots of kisses, yes the horse mask is a character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-09-29 22:33:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10146071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wesakechak/pseuds/Wesakechak
Summary: Asuka and Rei have a date after the school's Nativity play. If only that horse mask would stop staring at them. Lots of kisses.





	1. Periapsis

**Author's Note:**

> *blows noisemaker*  
> In the writer's equivalent of making your own cake for your birthday, this is my self indulgence. There's a lack of Campus Apocalypse fics out there, and more AsuRei is always good.

Asuka had neglected to remove her Virgin Mary costume after the nativity play had abruptly ended thanks to Shinji’s clumsiness ruining the set. She had deserved to punch him for it, especially since Asuka hadn’t gotten to the shocking climax she had planned for the Virgin Mary and the angel Gabriel. The only solace the actors had gotten was to take a bow, Asuka catching a bundle of mixed flowers thrown by someone in the audience. There had been a card tucked into the bouquet, some silly poem that she didn’t read in its entirely, but Asuka had thrown it out.  
  
She had other plans for the flowers. And the food she had taken from the cafeteria. She held the bag and bouquet in her left hand as she crept deeper into the school, quietly opening doors and padding through the halls. The meeting place she had chosen to spend the night was out of the way, quiet and secluded. Perfect for what she had planned. Eventually she found the locker room she had been looking for. The light was on, shining under the door. She could hear quiet humming from within. The scowl that had adorned her face dissolved, giving way to a smile. Asuka pushed the door open, finding the room empty at first glance.  
  
The humming was coming from somewhere though, and she silently slid further into the room. Her eyes darted around, scanning for anything that might hint at where the hummer was hiding. Asuka saw the back of a shoe at the end of the hall and stalked towards it, the humming growing louder as she approached. ‘Hark, the Herald Angel Sings’ was the tune. Asuka turned the corner and wrapped her arms around the other person in the room without so much as a glance. She was almost certain about who it was, and even if it wasn’t her girlfriend Asuka could always coerce whoever it was not to say anything.  
  
“Rei! There you-what the hell are you doing with that?” Her greeting halted halfway in surprise. Instead of a stock of blue hair as she was anticipating, the back of a rubber horse mane filled her vision. The humming stopped with a loud ‘eep’. Then her hands rose to Asuka's arms, giving them a small squeeze in acknowledgement.  
  
Somewhat disappointingly for Asuka, Rei had already changed out of the toga she had been wearing during the play and back into her school uniform.  
  
“Hello Asuka. As I said, it helps calm me.” Rei replied matter-of-factually, as if wearing a horse head mask was common solution to anxiety. Her voice was slightly muffled by the mask. Asuka dropped the food and flowers on a bench beside the two of them, freeing her other hand. Keeping one arm wrapped around Rei, Asuka lifted the mask off of the girl’s head. She turned it around, staring at the elongated face while Rei gave her head a slight shake to ruffle her hair.  
  
“Shinji gave it back?” Asuka leaned forward and pressed her face to the back of Rei’s head. The earthy smell of the shampoo Rei used filled Asuka’s nose, and she felt her cheeks grow hot. Rei’s own cheeks went flush, enjoying the hot breath on her neck.  
  
“It was technically Misato-sensei but yes.” Rei explained. “Shinji thought I was going to confess to him.” Rei’s face twisted into an almost sour expression. Confessions. The subject had been on her mind since she had pieced together who's journal Gendo had given her. It was no coincidence that she and Shinji were neighbours, nor that they shared almost all their classes. It had something to do with Gendo’s plan, that much she was sure of.  
  
She was also sure that entering a romantic relationship with Asuka Langley Soryuu was not a part of his plan.  
  
The contemplative silence she fell into annoyed Asuka, who pulled her head back and huffed at Rei. The mask dropped onto the floor with a quiet ‘thunk’. Rei tried to twist her head around to look at Asuka, but couldn’t manage to get a clear view of her.  
  
“Don’t get his hopes too high.” The redhead warned. “Need I remind you you’re already taken.” Asuka gave her girlfriend a playful pinch on her side. Rei squeaked, trying to twist around inside Asuka's grasp.  
  
“I am indeed. Yet you are the one supposedly pining after Ryoji Kaji.” Rei retorted.  
  
“I get to mess with Misato and Shinji by seeming interested in Kaji though. I know when I’m taking it too far.” Asuka argued, chuckling. “Plus, you’re the one who wants to keep this a secret from everyone.” Rei bowed her head in a slight nod, acknowledging Asuka’s reasoning. That had been one of the caveats of their relationship: it had to remain a secret from everyone. Asuka kissed Rei behind the ear, enjoying the feel of her soft hair on her face. Rei noted that Asuka was particularly eager to be intimate. This was their first night they could enjoy, an upgrade from hushed words and stolen kisses in the showers or alleys. A few moments later Asuka loosened her grip and allowed Rei to turn around and face her. They stood at arms length for a few moments.  
  
There was a hesitance in Rei’s actions as she reached out towards Asuka. She had previously asked for consent from Asuka when it came to any physical contact, but Asuka had been encouraging her to use her own judgement. In this case Asuka had already been the eager initiator, and they had planned the night in advance. It was one of the few opportunities they had to get away from the prying eyes of the world.  
  
Rei's hand brushed Asuka’s face, cupping her cheek. “Oh.” She breathed, still finding herself taken aback by Asuka’s physical beauty. The sun-kissed skin, the freckles that dotted her skin like stars, the red hair that Rei had recorded as an exception to her general hatred of the colour, and the blue eyes that were her favourite colour. She traced her cold hand down Asuka’s jaw and eventually came to a stop on her chin. Her thumb slid over Asuka’s lips. The slight pressure made Asuka’s pulse pound in her ear.  
  
Asuka bent down slightly, and Rei stood up on her tiptoes to reach Asuka’s face with her lips. She kissed the hooded girl once on the nose before dropping down again. Growing more at ease, her hands moved to the wimple Asuka wore. Delicately Rei pushed it off of her head and let it drop to the floor, exposing the red hair underneath. Rei continued to admire the face in front of her, getting distracted by Asuka's brilliant blue eyes.  
  
She moved her hands to wrap around Asuka’s neck, getting a small nod from Asuka. The smile on Rei’s face grew slightly wider as she let herself relax. Asuka had learned that that was the Rei equivalent of an ear splitting grin. It was an expression she rarely showed, and usually only in private moments like this one.  
  
“You gonna stare at me all night Rei?” Asuka goaded with a smirk. She wrapped her own arms around Rei’s waist, grabbing the fabric on the back of her shirt and pulling her closer. Rei tilted her head slightly to the side as she kissed Asuka on the lips, opening her mouth. Asuka tasted of fruit, while Rei had a bit of carrot mixed in with the usual minty taste. Asuka held back the urge to chide Rei for having eaten it. Even so, the now familiar feeling of being kissed by Rei was something that Asuka had been longing for.  
  
Asuka tried to pull Rei deeper into the kiss. She did not notice that Rei was standing on the hem of the dress she wore until Asuka tried to regain her balance by backing up. Instead Asuka fell backwards with a yelp. It was followed by dry wheeze as Rei knocked the air out of her lungs when she toppled down after her.  
  
“Sorry.” Rei hastily apologized. Asuka caught her breath as Rei straddled the Virgin Mary’s stomach. The knot at the back of the rope belt dug into Asuka's spine, causing her to wince at every small shift of Rei's. There was a soft rattle of metal from somewhere on Asuka, and the guilty expression from Asuka told Rei that she was hiding something.  
  
An inquisitive frown crossed Rei’s face. The smaller girl moving her hands to Asuka’s shoulders to keep her pinned against the floor. For someone who was barely past five feet, Asuka was always surprised by the strength she could display. “You had something to do with that poor girl spraining her ankle, didn’t you.” Rei guessed. It had been quite suspicious how the handrail gave out right when the girl who had been playing Gabriel leaned on it. Especially since Rei had noticed that some of the bolts were missing.  
  
“What are you talking about?” Asuka tried to be coy with her, attempting to wiggle out from under Rei. The nuts and bolts she had pilfered from the handrail jingled in the pocket of the shorts she wore underneath the costume.  
  
“Playing dumb does not suit you Asuka.” Rei warned. She sighed. Asuka cast her eyes to the side, avoiding the judgemental look. “Would you have written off the inevitable kiss between us as an uncontrollable impulse?” She added. Asuka bit her lower lip, realizing that Rei had guessed her initial plan.  
  
It had been almost perfect. She had masterfully set it up, encouraging Rei to sign up for the play, swapping out the flower for a lily, and when Rei had been too lazy to sign up until the last minute, sabotaging the handrail. Then she would have pulled the angel into tender kiss as the curtains drew closed.  
  
“Asuka,” Rei ran one hand through Asuka’s hair,  “I know you do not like that I want to keep this a secret, but there is a good reason. Maybe one day I will be able to tell you.” Rei promised, leaning down and planting a quick kiss on Asuka’s forehead. "Please trust me." 

"I do." Asuka sighed. She had to relent to Rei’s demand, and with a nod she did so. It had been an argument they had gotten into before, and one that they were both tired of. “I brought you something to eat.” Asuka gestured with her chin at the bench beside them. Rei glanced at the bagged dinner and the flowers on the bench.  
  
“Will it get cold?” Rei asked. Asuka shook her head, she had insulated it well enough. “Then we need to get you out of those clothes.” She grumbled, shuffling down so she now straddled Asuka’s hips.  
  
“What?” Asuka’s voice cracked in surprise. Of all the things she had thought to hear come from Rei Ayanami’s mouth, that was not one of them. Not that she was particularly unhappy to hear those words.  
  
“You can no longer be the Virgin Mary.” Rei explained further, trying to clarify that she was concerned about the costume being damaged. Asuka’s jaw went slack at the comment, her face growing even more red.

“Gott en himmel.” The German sputtered, switching to her native tongue. Too embarrassed to hold Rei’s gaze, Asuka turned her head to look at the lockers. The horse mask that she had dropped stared back at her, the face a permanent grin with unblinking eyes. It was quite the mood killer. Asuka pulled herself back into a sitting position, her lips connecting with Rei's as she did so. Rei applied a slight pressure back.  
  
Even while she kissed Asuka, Rei started working to take off the latter's costume. Starting with the the knot of the belt that held the outer layer of her dress in place.

Either from Rei's perceived disinterest or her own desires, Asuka’s tongue darted into Rei’s mouth. Rei paused in her work for a moment as she reciprocated the depened kiss. Simultaneously, both of them shut their eyes. Rei’s fingers fumbled over the belt, and she stopped her work. Her hands crept up to her shoulders, and she hummed contently into Asuka’s mouth. Asuka felt herself get more excited as Rei’s hands dug into her shoulder blades. Her own hand wandered across Rei’s back, sliding under her shirt to directly touch the pale skin underneath. The touch made Rei shiver slightly, opening her eyes for a moment before closing them again.  
  
Asuka eventually pulled away from Rei, out of breath. Rei did not resist, also needing to get air. A thin line of saliva hung over her lower lip and out her mouth. Her eyes fluttered open after a moment, and she gazed at Asuka warmly.  
  
Rei leaned back in, putting her chin on Asuka’s left shoulder and once again attempting to unknot the belt around Asuka’s chest. Asuka kissed whatever part of Rei she could reach, mainly her ear and trailing down the side of her neck. Each kiss made Rei let out a small hum in happiness. She pressed her cheek against Asuka’s neck affectionately. Her hands had soon unknotted the belt and Asuka felt it being pulled off of her. Careful not to disturb her too much, she gently pushed Rei off her shoulder. Asuka shrugged the second layer of her costume off, it dropped on top of the wimple behind her. All that was left was the baggy white shift. She let Rei set her head back down, Rei giving the base of Asuka’s neck an airy kiss that made Asuka quiver. Rei let one hand drop to her side, and Asuka's own hand drifted towards it, their fingers intertwining when she found it.  
  
For a moment, Asuka sat still and stared at Rei’s neck. She still had her uniform tucked and folded properly. Down to the tie. Clicking her tongue, Asuka reached out and undid the tie, letting it drop to the floor. Rei let her do it without question, only straightening the collar afterwards. “Stop being so formal, jeez.” Asuka suggested. “It isn’t even a school day.”  
  
“This is all I have to wear.” Rei muttered, her shoulders slumping at the admission. Asuka felt her stiffen slightly, her mouth creasing into a small frown. A flash of rage filled Asuka, and she squeezed Rei's hand tightly. Rei looked up at Asuka and was met with a quick kiss on the lips.  
  
“We’re going to have to fix that one day.” Asuka promised her, stroking her hair as they pressed their cheeks together. Rei’s past was still mostly a mystery to Asuka, even after growing up together within the organization of NERV, and what had been nearly a month of a committed romance. Though Asuka saw that Rei was improving, coming out of her shell, she knew there were things she was hiding. Not that Asuka faulted her for it, not being free of any skeletons in her own closet.  
  
She also knew now wasn’t the time or place to broach the topic. Instead she gave Rei a kiss on the ear, exhaling softly into her ear. Rei went almost completely limp at the sensation. “There’s a zipper in the back.” She prompted. Rei quickly unzipped the shift, her fingers working deftly. Then she helped Asuka off the floor. Asuka shrugged the white dress off and let it fall to the floor under her. Underneath she wore a tank top and short shorts, just enough not to be indecent without boiling in the heavy wool Virgin Mary costume. Asuka kicked the costume under the bench, covering the horse mask with it.  
  
That finished, Asuka held Rei just within arms length, one of their hands still intertwined with the other. Rei let her free hand idly trace the freckles on Asuka’s arm, each movement of her cold fingers sending shocks through Asuka. “I suppose I also own that.” Rei nodded at the lump. Asuka snorted in amusement. Then she reminded herself who she was dealing with.  
  
“You aren’t going to be wearing that stupid thing, are you?” Asuka asked.  
  
Rei was silent. Asuka spent a moment waiting for a response, but then realized that the silence was her response.  
  
“My god you’re actually going to wear that thing.” Asuka shook her head in disbelief. There was a quiet ‘Mhm’ from Rei. “Why do I put up with you?” She asked playfully, pulling Rei towards her.  
  
“I fulfill the same purpose as the horse mask.” Rei began sagely.  
  
“Can you stop with the stupid mask‽” Asuka bemoaned, shaking Rei's hand off and throwing her arms into the air out of exasperation.  
  
“I am. Overall, my presence make you feel more relaxed.” Rei explained. Asuka had to concede that point. Through all her eccentricities, Rei was a rational voice that Asuka needed to keep her from being too rash. And Asuka repayed her by encouraging her to act more alive, more human.   
  
Rei walked around Asuka, picking up the jumble of clothes from the floor and setting them on the bench, while also revealing the ever observant mask. It glared at Asuka.  
  
Asuka snatched the mask up and quickly threw it into an empty locker, closing the locker with a bolt from her pocket. Rei raised an eyebrow out of curiosity, hoping to get an answer out of Asuka.  
  
“I feel like it’s constantly watching me.” Asuka stated as she tightened a nut onto the impromptu lock. The excessive precaution caused Rei to snicker. It was quiet enough to be mistaken for a loud breath, had Rei’s eyes not crinkled in amusement.  
  
“Asuka, it is not alive.” Rei assured her. She touched Asuka on the arm, once again tracing over her freckles, “I have been wearing it and I can say for certain it is not malevolent.” Rei joked. “Though that may not be me speaking.” She screwed her eyes.  
  
That had caused Asuka to suddenly tense. Rei could feel Asuka’s muscles seize as she whipped around. She brushed Rei’s hand off and pushed her away. There was a loud bang as Rei slammed into a locker. “Don’t joke about shit like that!” Asuka suddenly yelled. Rei flinched at the harshness of her voice. “If you ever became possessed by an angel…” Asuka trailed off, looking down at her hands. She had killed the people she loved once, and she dreaded the thought of having to do so again.  
  
“I am sorry.” Rei mumbled, shrinking back against the lockers. Asuka rarely talked about her parents, but Rei was aware of what had happened.  
  
Asuka shook her head. “Don’t be.” She growled. They were her demons to deal with, not Rei's, she told herself. Her face softened slightly as she continued to look at Rei, “I put up a good act," Asuka added quietly, half to herself. There was another pause as they studied each other. Asuka folded her arms over her chest and huffed. “Let’s eat, I’m hungrier than I thought.” She sniffled, walking up to the bench and opening the bag with their dinner without another word.  
  
Inside were two plates, both covered by another plate acting as a lid, with string tied cardinally to keep them from spilling. A single water bottle rounded out the contents.  
  
Rei approached slowly, scrutinizing Asuka. It was clear that she wasn't the only one with secrets, though Rei reflected that she had caught a glimpse of her fears. Did her parents still haunt her dreams? With great care she made sure not to brush her hand against Asuka’s as she took the plate offered to her. Asuka took her own plate and sat down against one of the lockers, Rei following her. The water bottle marked the boundary between them. Simultaneously they unwrapped their dinners, staring at the meal before them. Turkey and bread for Asuka, and vegetables and bread for Rei. There were also a plastic fork and knife inside, somewhat covered by the food.  
  
They ate in silence, trying to enjoy the food whilst brooding. It was, they both would agree, good food. Even if it was cooler than it should have been. Occasionally one would go for a sip of water, returning the bottle to where it had been. Rei was also hungrier than she thought, and was eating vigorously. 

"You did well during the play." Asuka small-talked, squirming against the locker. Rei may have enjoyed the long silences that could play out between them, but she did not. She needed... something to take her mind off of things. 

"It was my mission not to disappoint you." Rei stated. "I haven't, have I?"

"No. You haven't." Asuka assured. Rei turned to face her, and Asuka glanced down at her hand, which had wandered towards Rei, splayed open. An invitation. Rei reached out and slipped her own hand into Asuka's. Asuka smiled slightly at the re-established link between them.   
  
After they were done, they placed the empty plates back into the bag. They washed it down by drinking what was left in the water bottle, Asuka taking the last sip and tossing it back into the bag with the plates.

Then they simply sat, continuing to hold hands. Asuka's fingers wrapped around Rei's smaller hand, and brushed over her joints. It was enough to tell each other that they were still there. Eventually Asuka pulled her legs up to her chest, loosening her grip on Rei's hand.  
  
Rei turned towards Asuka, noting her frown. “Asuka, may I?” Rei asked, giving her hand another small squeeze. Asuka gave a nod of consent and Rei carefully guided Asuka's head onto her lap. Their held hands drifted onto Asuka's chest. Rei leaned forward and they pressed their foreheads together, Asuka’s breathing slowed slightly as she became more comfortable with resting against Rei. The troubled thoughts that had plagued Asuka left, and she let herself enjoy the moment.  
  
"Thank you," Asuka whispered, tucking a loose strand of Rei’s hair behind her ear and taking time to run her fingers through it.

Rei ran one hand along the side of Asuka’s neck, then pecked her lightly on the lips. Asuka let her remaining anxieties dissolve with every jolt from Rei’s fingers brushing against her neck and airy breath passing onto her lips.  
  
“I love you.” Asuka muttered between kisses, her voice slightly slurred. It was not the first time they had told each other, but Asuka felt it needed to be said again. Rei kissed her again, a small euphoric bolt of energy traveling from her lips to her brain.  
  
“I love you as well Asuka.” Rei replied, just as quietly. She felt happy as she reaffirmed the statement.  
  
Asuka shifted her body so that she sitting up, then pulled Rei towards her, their lips meeting in a deep kiss. Though Rei's eyes widened momentarily in shock, she soon shut them to enjoy the feeling. Rei readjusted her head and once again their tongues met with passion. Asuka buried one hand in Rei’s hair, keeping her locked into the kiss. Her other hand dropped Rei's hand and slid to her lower back. Rei's own hands moved to wrap around Asuka's upper back, entwining between her shoulder blades.

Asuka continued to kiss her, moving away from Rei's lips and kissing down her jaw line and onto her neck. Each one leaving the feeling of a light buzz on Rei's skin. There was a moan of pleasure from Rei, which caught them both by surprise. Rei blushed profusely as Asuka let her pull away. For a moment they each caught their breath, the extended kiss leaving their heads swimming.  
  
“I’m not gonna lie, that was pretty cute.” Asuka smirked. There was another quiet laugh from Rei. Rei let herself nestle against the side of Asuka’s body, resting her head in the crook of the other girl’s neck. Asuka continued to play with her hair, brushing through it with her fingers. Occasionally they would kiss, though not as passionate as they had been, instead each was a simple gesture that they were there.

Rei eventually raised a hand to Asuka's lips, tracing them with her fingers, and sat up. She set Asuka's own head against her chest, cradling it in her arms. Asuka's eyes fluttered shut and Rei kissed Asuka's eyelids gently. Between the euphoric feeling of the kisses and toning out the rest of the world, both of them were in bliss.  
  
Yet it had to end at some point. After a while Asuka stirred, glancing at her watch. “It’s getting late.” She mumbled softly, “We should really go before we get locked in.”  
  
Rei hummed in agreement, reluctantly separating herself from Asuka and resting against the locker beside her. Asuka stood up, disposing of the bag with the plates in a garbage can and slipping on her shoes. As she walked back to where Rei still sat collecting her thoughts, she grabbed the bouquet she had been thrown at the end of the performance. Holding it with one hand, she offered Rei the other one to help her up. Rei took it, Asuka taking the opportunity to drag Rei close once again. Rei stumbled forward, nearly toppling Asuka again.

  
“Oh yeah, I meant to give you this, but I forgot all about it.” Asuka told her, showing the bouquet to her. Rei took hold of it, her hands lingering on top of Asuka’s as she brought it up to her face to smell. It was gratifying that she was being recognized for her success, yet...

"Do you have another one for yourself?" She asked.

"Nah, I don't need any." Asuka dismissed with a wave of her hand. Rei shook her head. With great precision, Rei removed all of the blue and white flowers from the bouquet. An amused expression crossed Asuka's face as Rei held up a red tulip up to her face, comparing it to Asuka's hair. She added it to her own little bouquet. Taking some of the string that Asuka had used to tie the plates together, she wrapped it around the stems.  
  
“There, now we will both have some flowers.” Rei proclaimed. Asuka blinked, taken aback by how adorable Rei could be. She let out a small laugh, pulling Rei towards her and kissing her on the cheek. Rei sniffed the bouquet she was carrying and smiled, stepping away from Asuka.  
  
In preparation to leave, Rei turned around and began to unscrew the nut on the locker Asuka had shut earlier that night. She pulled out the horse mask, carrying it under her arm. Her uniform’s tie was buried among the Virgin Mary costume, and she scooped it up as well, retying it around her neck. Asuka herself grabbed the bundle of fabric and slung it over her shoulder. She would have to return it to the drama room, which was in the opposite direction that Rei intended to go. When they reached the doorway they embraced once more.  
  
“Thank you for the evening Asuka.” Rei bowed her head politely.  
  
“Yeah, I really needed this.” Asuka agreed before she kissed her one last time. It was a chaste kiss, simply their lips brushing together. Even so they let it linger for a few moments before backing away. Rei touched her fingers to her lips as they tingled. Asuka mirrored the action, not knowing how long it would be until she could feel that sensation again.  
  
“See you at the meeting tomorrow?” Rei called as Asuka began to walk away.  
  
“Of course.” Asuka waved the hand holding her flowers over her shoulders. Rei watched her turn the corner, then put the horse head mask on her head and walked towards the exit, smiling as she went.


	2. Perturbation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asuka and Rei deal with inner demons after an incident shakes their life. And the horse mask is still staring at Asuka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, a multichapter fic. 
> 
> Wanted to head back to Campus Apocalypse, do a short follow up to Periapsis, taking place after everything goes down. Enjoy.

The air in Rei’s apartment felt still and musty when Asuka and Rei entered. It had been nearly two weeks since Gendo’s plan to reunite with Yui had culminated with Rei getting shot twice, Gendo himself getting crushed by a piece of falling rubble, and Kaworu sacrificing himself to save Shinji, incidentally ensuring that the world would continue to exist as well. Asuka had been a witness to that all, and the fact made her grit her teeth in frustration. She was someone who got into the thick of things, not a bystander who sat idle as everything went to shit around her.

   Yet all she could do for the past two weeks was stand by, waiting. Waiting while Shinji had been set on a chair beside where they were operating on Rei so that blood could be siphoned out of him. Waiting while Rei’s heart had stopped beating for ten seconds, then started again. Waiting while Rei had been unconscious for three days afterwards; attached to a ventilator, a heartbeat monitor and an iv bag to keep her alive. Asuka had refused to sleep for more than an hour for those days, making sure that her condition wouldn’t degrade. But even then it had still been waiting for something to happen. Nothing had, thankfully. Asuka would finally get some rest a week after Rei woke, when Rei had pulled Asuka’s head onto her lap and promised her the worse was over. By then Rei was eating solid food and breathing normally, howbeit still complaining of a dull pain in her chest from her broken rib. Rei had been released a few days later, after her stitches had been removed and her bruises had faded. There would be scars, small but noticeable, that would stay with her for life, reminders of what had happened. Rei and Asuka had set off to her apartment the evening she had been released, Rei stumbling as her legs remembered how to walk and Asuka sliding an arm around Rei to keep her from outright falling.      

   It was the first time that Asuka had been permitted to enter Rei’s place. Their romance had been molded by secrecy and discretion, with either quiet words or quick kisses in dark corners. That had been enough for them. The pattern had only been broken by the night of the nativity play, their only actual ‘date’. Now things were different, though both of them were still trying to wrap their heads around it. Now secrecy would be unnecessary. Gendo was dead, something that Rei had to remind herself of at least once a day. There was no longer any plan that dictated Rei’s life. 

   Rei flicked on the light switch to illuminate the bare apartment. Asuka looked around; she knew that Rei didn’t own much, but even so she was surprised. Aside from the necessities, it was almost completely empty.

   While Asuka hovered near the threshold of the room, Rei walked deeper in, entering the the kitchen. She picked up an unused bento box that was sitting on the counter in the kitchen. A frown appeared on her face as she turned it over in her hands. The plan had been to return it to Shinji, a thank you for his earlier bento, but that had been postponed by what had happened that night.

   Her left side erupted in phantom pain and she winced, reaching out and clutching the counter with one hand. Even a stray thought of the incident causing her to not-so-helpfully remind herself what it felt like. Then she felt her heart flub a beat and she stiffened, inhaling sharply. A complication that had arisen from the pressure wave of the bullet bruising her heart, and then it stopping for ten seconds on the operating table. Most simply put, her heart would sometimes spasm and fail to produce a solid beat. While infrequent, Doctor Akagi had told her that physical and mental stress, along with some stimulants such as caffeine, would increase the likelihood of it occurring more frequently. 

   Asuka was beside her a moment later, placing a hand on her back and rubbing between the shoulder blades. Asuka could feel the muscles relax under her palm.With her free hand, Asuka took the bento box away from Rei, setting it in a cupboard just as bare as everything else in the house.“Why don’t you take me for a tour of the place?” She suggested quietly. She was going to be living here, so she might as well get to know it. And it would take Rei’s mind away from reliving the trauma, or so she hoped.

   Rei gave a curt nod, backing away from the counter. The pain started to fade under Asuka’s touch and she took a deep breath to help calm herself. It was in the past now, she told herself. “The commander did not feel it was entirely necessary for me to have much in the way of personal effects,” Rei began, “So there is not much to show you.” She walked over to her fridge and opened it, scanning the meager provisions within. Nothing had spoiled, she quickly concluded.

   “Just a few veggies?” Asuka asked, looking over her head. She knew Rei ate cafeteria food all the time, but was there nothing else that she ate?

   “And some water bottles as well. Until recently I did not even use it.” Rei continued, taking out a water bottle and holding it in one hand, staring at it like it was something alien. After placing it back in the fridge she moved over to the sink, still filled with pans soaking in two week old water. “Kaworu was teaching me how to cook, to repay Shinji for the bento he made me.” She explained, staring at the pans. He would never get to finish his lessons, she realized sadly. Her shoulders slumped and she bit back tears.  

   Rei hurried out of the kitchen and into what would nominally be described as a living room. There was a couch and an arm chair on two sides of a low wooden table, with a television positioned against one wall. Unlike the rest of the house, the armchair looked used, the cushion slightly depressed where Rei had sat on it. Asuka pressed the power button on the tv, and harrumphed when nothing happened. Glancing over it at the cable she noticed it was unplugged. That made sense, she thought. Rei wasn’t the type to sit around and watch tv all day. Or at least not watch tv while she was sitting around. She probably never set it up to begin with.

   Rei had made herself busy by picking up a textbook, flipped open with its spine facing the ceiling. She scanned the page, remembering what was written in it. It had been required reading due a week ago, but most classes had been cancelled indefinitely as a result of what had happened. Finding nothing of interest in the book, she closed it and set it down on the central table. Asuka was staring at her a couple metres away, biting her lower lip. Rei knew it as a sign that she was worried, and Rei knew she had a good reason to be.

   Moving further into the apartment, she gave Asuka a quick look at the bathroom before moving into her bedroom. The covers on the double-sized bed were all disheveled, Rei did not particularly care if everything was neat. She sat down on the bed and pulled her legs up, resting her chin on her knees. Asuka had gone to poke around her closet. Rei’s clothing consisted of a few school uniforms, haphazardly hung, and tucked away in one corner the only other thing that Rei owned in terms of clothing. Reaching up with a chuckle, she grabbed the horse mask that Rei had taken home after the nativity play. It stared back at her with unseeing glass eyes. Asuka still felt crept out by it.  


   “You kept this dumb thing?” Asuka asked, holding it up for Rei to see. Rei’s eyes crinkled slightly and a small smile appeared on her face for a moment.

   “Yes.” She answered. Even the single syllable was enough for Asuka to hear the wavering in her voice, Rei’s smile not hiding her sadness. Asuka tossed the mask at her, and she casually caught it in one hand, setting it on one of her pillows. Asuka followed the mask a moment later, flopping down near the foot of the bed. She rolled onto her back and sat up beside Rei. Her hand wandered to Rei’s forearm, gently pressing against it.

   Rei turned her head, examining Asuka. Rei had returned to her default expression of an inquisitive frown, and her eyes darted up and down Asuka’s figure. “You no longer have to keep up appearances.” Rei told her.

   “What’s that supposed to mean?” Asuka dismissed, deliberately obtuse about what Rei meant. Even so she knew perfectly well what Rei was saying with that.

   “You no longer have to appear strong for my sake.” Rei clarified. Asuka had done a relatively good job of hiding her stress, but Rei had made note of the small things that slipped through. The touch that wavered between too hard and too soft, her refusal to meet Rei’s gaze, her half-hearted attempts at small-talk.

   “You think so?” Asuka huffed in denial. She was indeed stressed after everything, wound up as tight as a spring for the past few weeks. As she always did though, she had stuffed those worries to the back of her mind, gritting her teeth and trying to push through. It had worked then, it would work now. “I should be saying that to you.” She had seen the pain in Rei’s eyes, when she seemed to drift away from reality for a few moments, then was pulled back by her heart. Daydreaming was not something new to Rei, but Asuka had noted that it had gotten more common after the incident. And it generally ended with Rei taking a sharp breath and wincing.

   Rei shook her head. “Shinji mentioned your conversation after battling the last angel. That you always relied on yourself, even when it was too much. You do not have to do that anymore.” Rei offered, twisting her upper body to face Asuka. One of her ribs, still healing from being fractured, protested to the movement. She grimaced slightly.

   “Then you also know that I told Shinji that there’s a lot of shit that you’d have to carry.” Asuka grumbled, slumping her shoulders. She found it hard to believe that Rei was telling her to dump her problems on her. She couldn’t do that. Not after everything her girlfriend had been through. What were her problems compared to getting shot, having to suffer being haunted by those memories long after the physical damage was gone?

   “I will carry as much as you need.” Rei reassured her, reaching out to touch her shoulder. “I will not abandon you.”  Asuka recoiled quickly, like Rei’s hand was a hot stovetop. She shook her head, then stared straight ahead, not meeting Rei’s eyes.

   “You did leave me though. Rei, I saw you die. You were dead!” Asuka said, her throat seeming to tighten and make her choke. She had heard the death rattle from Rei, her heart monitor flatline. A flood of emotions had surged through her in those ten seconds between Rei flatlining and the shot of epinephrine making her heart pump again. Now they all came back, joined by a new one. Guilt.  


   “In that case, I came back.” Rei amended. “I am here now.” 

   “I accepted it though. I would have moved on. Just like I did with my parents. After having to kill your parents, I guess losing a girlfriend isn’t that hard.” Asuka confessed with a choked laugh, pushing herself away from Rei again. She had been prepared to bury her grief, leaving it to fester in the back of her mind. There it would only occasionally haunt her nightmares, as her parents did. She shifted herself so she faced away from Rei. “I’m a horrible person for saying that, aren’t I?”

   “I would have liked you to continue to live.” Rei muttered. Even if she had died, she wanted Asuka to be happy. And she knew what happened when someone didn’t move on. The pain flared in her side again, making her wince. “Gendo could not live without Yui, and look what happened…” Rei trailed off. So much pain and death to get back what was, in the end, not the Yui that Gendo had left. “So I do not think that you are horrible for that.” If Asuka could have moved on, that would be for the best.

   The reassuring words did little to comfort Asuka, who only seemed to shrink as she curled up tighter. “You’re the one who got shot. Who lost a friend. Who fucking died. I shouldn’t be dumping this on you.” She reiterated, exasperated. Rei took a moment to think. She removed the horse mask from the pillow, setting it on the nightstand beside the bed.

   "You are right that I did go through traumatic experiences, but so did you.” Rei tilted her head down in a nod. Those were valid points, but ignored Asuka’s own problems, her own worries. That was something that Rei was determined not to allow to happen any longer. “You had to relive the death of your parents, and it does not get any easier, does it?” Asuka shook her head. It had not, the battle with the angel had opened the wound in her mind anew. “Furthermore Kaworu was a friend to both of us, at least that is what he told me, and though you were not as close to him as I was, it was still a loss, was it not?” Rei's voice tapered off as she spoke and she stayed quiet for a second afterwards, closing her eyes. When she opened them again, Asuka was sniffling. “You also had to deal with the possibility of once again losing someone you were particularly close to. Even if you did not in the end, you are still worried that it can happen.” Rei's voice began to crack as she finished, and she let out a choked sob. The tiny nod of Asuka’s head at the assessment was all Rei needed as a response.

   Rei wrapped her arms around Asuka, pulling her into a hug. Asuka did not move away as she had before, allowing Rei to guide her head against Rei’s chest. Asuka could hear Rei’s heart beat as it pumped normally, a solid ‘lub-dub’ filled her ear. It was a sound that Asuka found to be quite calming. She reached up and touched Rei’s cheek with her hand. It met a wet tear stain, and she glanced at the other girl. Rei was beginning to cry, tears silently streaming down her face. 

   “It would be unfair to ask that you remain emotionally composed while you are suffering as well.” Rei concluded gently. Something in Asuka seemed to click, and she nodded and returned the hug.  


   Asuka joined in crying a few moments later, accepting Rei’s offer to share their grief with each other. They didn’t need to say anything else, nor did they for the next few minutes, instead Asuka turned herself around and both of them adjusted themselves to lay down on the bed. They rested on top of the sheets, both letting out their pent up emotions while comforting the other. The next few minutes were filled with light touches on the shoulder and back, occasionally one would wipe the other's face of any tears.  


   Even so, Rei found herself drawn back to the commander’s office again, and her soothing touches stopped. She could feel the first shot graze her side, a spike of pain that made her collapse to the floor. Then the realization that she was most likely going to die and the dissonant serenity that it had brought on, numbing the pain from the wound. It was not until the second shot that it had actually hurt again. When she felt her entire body vibrate from the impact. She sucked in a breath through gritted teeth and felt her heart flub another beat, making her muscles go tense. Asuka was there though, once again rubbing one hand between her shoulders and encouraging her to breathe. Rei did so as best as she could, pushing the memory out of her mind.

   “It still hurts. And that will remain, will it not?” Rei asked grimly after she had calmed down. She pulled up the side of her shirt, looking at the two scars that ran in a small t shape. A horizontal one from where the first bullet had grazed her, and a vertical one, nearly ten centimeters long, where the doctors had sewn up her punctured colon.  


   “Yes.” Asuka shook her head, speaking from experience. She reached out with one hand and lightly brushed her fingers over the raised tissue. “I still have nightmares about my parents, sometimes at least. I have to tell myself that it’s done with, and that I did the right thing.” She frowned, dipping her head down. "It's hard to do that some days." Even if the angel had deliberately twisted them and gave them a voice, it had drawn on Asuka’s own doubts in its attack on her. So what it had said was inside her, somewhere. The thought made Asuka tremble. "I have to ask myself that maybe I did it to get out of their shadows." She muttered.  


   “You did it to end their suffering.” Rei reassured her. That had been what Asuka had told her, and she believed it. "Those stray thoughts aren't who you really are." She rested one hand on the back of Asuka's head and used the other one to pull her closer. Asuka nodded weakly and fell silent again. It felt good to hear Rei say that, to argue that she was better than she thought she was.  


   Eventually their tears dried up, both of them reduced to hiccuping; and they snuggled against each other, exhausted. Asuka yawned, glancing outside. The sun had set, and the city had gone quiet. The sky outside the window was sparkled with a few stars that shone through the city lights. 

   Rei sighed and shifted against Asuka, “I am sorry for keeping my true nature a secret from you.” Rei apologized once again. Asuka staying with her had been too much to hope for, yet it had happened. Asuka was there, even though she reviled angels. Even though Rei had feared that Asuka's initial promise to her would be void after she gave it some rational thought.  


   “It’s fine Rei. It doesn’t matter to me what you are." Asuka smirked at Rei, "I’ve told you before, I don’t associate myself with people I don’t like. But here I am, in your arms." She pointed out, as if Rei had missed the obvious. Rei shrugged in response. "You’re still Rei, it’s not like that’s changed.” Asuka told her, pressing their foreheads together. They both smiled at the affectionate gesture, Rei relieved that Asuka had said what she had, and Asuka relieved that she could say it. 

   Rei was the first to slide under the covers of the bed, turning the damp pillow over so she could sleep on it, Asuka following suit shortly afterwards. Rei rested on her right side, her hands resting between the two of them, near their faces. Asuka lay on her left side, facing Rei. Rei reached up and wiped the tears from Asuka's eyes one more time, Asuka mimicking the gesture. Then they caught the other's hand so they grasped each other. Asuka moved them down under the blankets so their view of the other’s face was unobstructed. Even though their cheeks were flush and their eyes were still raw from crying, both of them felt content.  


   “It’s a new moon tonight.” Rei mentioned offhandedly, looking past Asuka and out the window. 

   “And?” Asuka sounded confused at why she was bringing that up.

   “A new beginning. I think that it is appropriate.” Rei explained.

   Asuka barked out a laugh. Then she slipped her hands out of Rei's. She instead grabbed Rei's shoulders and pulled her into a tight embrace, wrapping her arms around Rei. “I suppose we should make the most of it then.” She grinned, moving her face closer to Rei’s, close enough so that their breath tickled the other’s face. Rei looked at her expectantly, and Asuka puckered her lips. Before Asuka could move in she caught something in the corner of her eye and pulled back suddenly. The horse mask stared at her judgingly from the nightstand where Rei had set it. It’s pitiless black eyes seemed to follow her every move.

   “Rei, I swear that _thing_ is staring at me.” Asuka complained. A part of her was still convinced that it was possessed by something.  


   “I remember we established that it was not alive.” Rei mused quietly, her mouth turning upwards into a smile and her eyes crinkling in mirth. She hummed, nestling her head deeper into the pillow, not at all bothered by Asuka's complaints.  


   “Well, it is.” Asuka said again, glaring back at the mask in the vain hope that it would be too embarrassed to hold her gaze. Rei stared at her, unsure if Asuka had not heard her or was merely being deliberately obtuse. She took a moment to decide that it was the latter. 

   “Fine. I will move it.” Rei rolled onto her other side, grabbing the mask and dropping it to the floor. It landed with a loud thunk. Then she rolled back to face Asuka and found herself being pulled to the middle of the bed. Asuka wrapped her arms and legs around Rei, pressing them together as tight as she possibly could. Rei slipped her own arms around Asuka, setting her hands on the small of Asuka’s back. She let Asuka’s warmth wash over her, shutting her eyes as she relaxed. A moment later she felt Asuka’s lips brush against hers and she smiled, feeling at peace. No nightmares would trouble either of them that night.  



End file.
